I’ve been back home for 2 months now and I’ve noticed a significant difference in the way that I’ve slotted back into normal life. In previous years, I’ve really struggled to fit back in to the same routines, the same job and have also struggled to properly reconnect with the same people. Every adventures morphs my mind into a slightly different shape, that gives me a slightly different set of perspectives and a greater understanding of the world as a whole. As a result I’m often left questioning whether I actually want to continue life here on the island that is so far from the rest of the world, when my heart so desperately wants to explore.
This time feels quite different somehow. my time in Oman provided a massive reality check. An overwhelming surge of fear accompanied by a large solid dose of home truths. that experience was hard to grapple and still pervades my mind with a series of dark thoughts and questions. however, my time in Qatar provided the perfect environment and moment in time to be able to process these thoughts and fears. my time there forced me to understand what it is I really want out of the next phase in my life, and provided the space to be able to devise a plan that will enable me toto achieve these things.
Enlightenment is a relatively common part of each adventure, and in the past that enlightenment has left me feeling both blessed and cursed as I marvel at my new found knowledge and understanding that the people around me don’t seem to understand.
This time seems a little different though. I no longer have this overwhelming desire to flee. my country looks to be a more iridescent shade of green and the people I surround myself with are more open-minded. I no longer compare island life to living in a bird cage, and instead am viewing my city through the eyes of a tourist.
Travel is my therapy. my opportunity for challenge and immense growth. but I think I need to remind myself that the therapy doesn’t end when I step off the plane. the reality of the Mon-Fri corporate grind is never going to compare to a solo adventure in a far off land. a holiday fling will never compare to a relationship back home. there is no end point in terms of healing as we are constant evolution of our own beings. looking at life through such a segmented lens doesn’t seem to be doing me any favours and I think it’s time to recognise that.
So, for now I’m settling back in. my next trip is in April so there’s a fair few months before I’m off the island again. until then, patience is a virtue.