Navigating the modern day dating game…

I’ve been single for some time now and I’ve been having a look at what these online dating apps are all about. Sure, they’re nothing new and I’m not exactly new to them. But my interactions with them come in waves. I’ll often lose interest after I receive 1 too many unsolicited d1ck pics, and swear off any form of connecting with strangers over the interwebs. While other times I’ll convince myself that I need to get back on that dating horse and put myself out there. 

I’m currently in one of those ‘put yourself out there’s type phases so I’ve been connecting with a few guys online. One of whom I met after a week of interesting banter and we went for dinner and to the Opera. Now… I’m sure for some this is not an ideal first date, but he’s Italian and I’m a trained opera singer so actually it was pretty cool.

He’s a lovely guy, far more affectionate than I’m used to when in public which only highlighted our cultural differences and the undertones of social modesty that exists here in New Zealand but it wasn’t anything I overly minded. He’s only in NZ for another month, so I hadn’t given any thought to a relationship of any kind because it seemed pointless. However, we have a lot of fun together and there’s plenty of chemistry so figured we might as well keep it going.

By date 4 we ended up back at my place for the night. Nothing that you’re thinking right now happened that night, get your mind out of the gutter! The night was going well as we curled up and watched a movie… Then we had a conversation that he said we needed to have.

He told me about how being single means not being monogamous and that he is dating other people and will continue to seek new people to date. Now… This in and of itself doesn’t bother me a whole lot. We aren’t in a relationship, I appreciate his honesty and for being open about his views. Though the thought of being 1 of who knows how many women isn’t exactly the nicest thought. 

What did bother me was him being so fixated on his phone. Knowing that he was playing the field made an act as simple as regularly checking his phone, seem far more annoying than it needed to. By the end of the date I felt more like I was being treated as a service than a ‘friend’. So I won’t be seeing him again.

The modern day dating game feels incredibly transactional and disposable, but manners and respect shouldn’t be lessened just because you’re openly dating. Values seem a little harder to come by in today’s society, but I want to believe that they’re still out there somewhere.

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